I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
