No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He felt like a one man threesome
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
