I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We need to get me chipped asap
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
