OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
