Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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