just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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