I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
