I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
