Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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