if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
