Screwed.edu
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
