So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
