Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
