Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It's official drugs can't kill me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
