She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
