i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
