i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Holy shit dude........stairs
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
