I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
