My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
this will be a night to untag.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
