you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
