break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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