Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
