he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
