found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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