Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I die, sorry about rent.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
