Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
