I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
