I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
