It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
