Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
