Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We are two peas in an std pod
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
