There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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