I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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