Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
