I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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