He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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