She is in my trunk
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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