nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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