you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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