maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
