you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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