marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
