Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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