where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
