AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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