i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
