I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
