never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
