I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
