Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
