You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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