I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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